Wed, Jul. 8th, 2009, 09:41 pm
so what, in your opinion, is the most times someone thought about topping themselves in a single day?
stop me if you've heard this one before.
what is the difference between sarah palin's mouth and her vagina?
only one retarded* thing came out of her vagina!!!
duh dump dump
*and yes i used the retarded. get over it. i was raised in an age of lawn darts and nuclear holocaust. a word can be overlooked. P.S. it makes the joke work. P.P.S i have family members who i call 're-re'.
I'll say this, even though it is not PC, FUCK LEMIEUX!!!!
Puttsburgh is famous for zombies, not half arrogent shit heads.
Wed, Mar. 4th, 2009, 11:18 pm
the travel bug
not entirely sold on the hill country of texas.
i think i need to spend some time in a foreign country.
a place i have not been before.
..for reminding me of a moment.
he reminded me of a moment that a woman was shedding tears next to me and i did not know what to do.
i really was lost for a solution. i reached back to Garp and wished i had "magic gloves" to take away the pain.
the moment was at an Aimee Mann show at Royce Hall.
i knew there wasn't anything i could do, but be there.
i lost all awareness of the other woman we were there with, maybe i knew at that moment she wouldn't be there forever.
all i wanted to do was to stop those tears.
maybe the smile we shared helped. who knows, music is powerful and we can never know what is felt from song to song.
*yes "that Kevin Smith" the dude who will be known to the G.P. as Silent Bob. but who is so much more than that.
...i thought about it for two days and relented. as i am want to do.
here is the obligatory "fuck off" to the old year and the preemptive "fuck you" to the year that has begun.
Best part of 2008:
being given a new name by Ronan Christopher Riley. I am now, and henceforth, known as "Unkle Dat"(spelling by his father not me) The boy at almost 2 years old is putting full sentences together and is learning how to say 20 new words a day, but for some reason will not or cannot say "uncle chris" he can say 'chris' and he can say 'uncle' he can even call others 'aunt so and so' or 'uncle this or that' he can even say the word 'cousin' quite well. But, after a review of all the words he can say individually, when pressed by anyone to say 'uncle chris' he instead points directly at me and says "Unkle Dat". with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face he does this. my heart falls apart every time.
of course i am all to glad to be whomever he needs me to be.
i just hope that one day i can be the uncle he needs and deserves.
Worst part of 2008:
as for 2009?
Best part of the year so far:
spending new years day at Wrigley Field in Chicago to see the Red Wings of Detroit face off against Blackhawks of Chicago in a hockey match called the Winter Classic. seriously, it was an awesome day. yes it was cold. yes we woke up too early to fly in that morning. but being able to have a beer stay ice cold during the game was well worth it.
i love my sister in law for coming up with the idea to send my brother, my cousin(who i taught to ice skate and who played hockey in the junior league), and i to chicago for the day.
Part of the year i can't wait for:
seeing my "XX best good friend" Dr. Jones. i know we don't talk much these days, my fault 100%, but i can't wait to lay eyes on her. i think her smile and the timber of her laugh will do me good.
Part of the year i could do without so far:
so there it is.
i am now 36 but back to where i was when i was 19. i accept full responsibility and will somehow figure something out. as i always do.
its not the years, its the miles.
Thu, Oct. 2nd, 2008, 09:48 pm
Sarah Palin makes Dan Quayle look like a member of Mensa.
for such a "darn straight shooter" she avoided answering a lot of questions. this woman is comedy gold!
quote from a real "hockey mom": "if she becomes president we are fucked."
Geoffrey Richard Riley was, one month too early, brought into this world.
i am happy and proud to have him as a very close friend and a brother.
happy birfday little brother!
it has been two days since i have finally had internet at the house. I have emails to respond to and things to say. but not today...later.
*One thing I have enjoyed, thoroughly, is being around Terri and listening to her talk about her 30+ years with Gary. Sure she bitches from time to time but even when she does there is something in her voice, her eyes, or her smile that betrays her and telegraphs the fact that she wouldn’t have traded any of those “moments” for anything. Mostly she talks of the fun they had together, the day-to-day stuff, or how they got to certain decision. I relished the stories I heard from Troy about his life with Bettye. There is something beautiful to see in these types of things. I found something comforting in them. Especially when they come from those you admire. I enjoy them like the Oliver Twist character with his faced pressed up against the glass of a nice restaurant watching the people inside enjoy meals he will never get close to tasting.
*If you think about it, Oliver has it easy. He won’t ever have to anticipate the flavors when famished. He’ll never know the pain of having to choose from a lavish list of equally savory and satisfying dishes. He’ll not know the “bite” in the wallet a truly filling meal can have. The kid has nothing so there is nothing to miss. But I think Oliver and I can agree that it would be nice to at least have one good shot at sitting at the table without knowing that the servers would just walk by slowly with arms full of food, as if you didn’t even exist.
(wow! Transparent much?)
*Did I tell you I live in Austin now? Well did I tell you that I live in a subdivision that is mostly people who believe in or practice transcendental meditation? Well it is. And there are hippies everywhere! Nuff said.
*I spoke to Geoff yesterday and Ronan is now saying “please”, then smiling from ear to ear if he wants something instead of just grabbing it. I really hope he comes here for Christmas so I can see him and be disarmed by that smile. It seems he is becoming a very charming and smart person. Of course he is! Look at his father!! I am in awe of Geoff. I envy how much he loves being a “dad” and at times I envy the very fact he is one. I have said it before and I’ll say it again; I miss having him around to just chat shit with on a day-to-day basis.
*I made Brennan cry Friday night. Terri chalked it up to all the crap he ate that day but I wouldn’t let her get away with it. I was harsh. Too harsh. She was unwilling to admit I was harsh. He doesn’t like Angie and he sees that as something to “have in common” with me. The mistake he makes is that he is too rash or harsh when speaking of her from his very limited experience with her from his very sheltered 12 years of life. (he has told me I should have thrown her from the front porch in response to a story Terri told him. A story that I have ever only told one person, and no it wasn’t the gun story, I couldn’t believe that she told him the story she told him. I never told her. She is still surprised by some of the stuff Geoff and I tell her. And another time he advised me the best course of action would have been to stab her in the stomach with a pocket knife in response to getting drunk and hostile one night.) so the other night he made a crack, I was not in the mood, and I attacked him.
I spoke to him with the intent of drawing blood, I used harsh language, I wanted him to know what it was like to be 7 and know that you are on your own.
I spoke to him in this way in front of Terri.
It took less than 90 seconds for the first tear to appear.
I felt like hell, and still do.
We hugged it out and apologized to each other and he seems to have forgiven me.
I have not forgiven myself. I should have known better.
Terri and I talked about it. She says she doesn’t blame me. She says he has no idea of what living with Angie was like or would be like and that he needs to know that not everyone has had the same life he has had.
I just added it to the list of things I have yet to atone for.
*I went out Thursday night with Spencer to a couple of clubs downtown. You wanna have fun, go out with a great looking gay man! Good times. At one point I ended up talking to a 21 year old university of texas fish, she was from small town in east texas, and she had never been to a “gay” bar before that night. (the quotes are her air quotes.) Before she left she gave me her phone number and kiss on the cheek and a request to call her Saturday to get together.
I threw her number, if it was her real number, away within 3 minutes.
Not because she was young (when did that ever stop me) or not cute (she was very cute) or a boy (I know how to spot a double X chromosome)
I threw it away because I’m arsenic.
Still it felt nice to see a smile on someone’s face while I cracked wise. I told myself; she doesn’t know me or ever need to know me.
*Shame on the Democratic Party for sweeping John Edwards away like that!! My Spanish poly-sci professor at the University of Bradford was 100% correct; “a two party system is just two whores fighting for the same money.” oh they may have different tits, different amounts of teeth, and dresses of differing cleanliness on but they are both whores to be sure. I guarantee you that when I go in and vote for my main motherfucker in November I will silently say the following Irish prayer: prove me wrong.